Bristol County Daily News

I'm not sure where to start today. Sometimes I think I should just never read the paper. It just all seems so disturbing. I try so hard to make sure that the people in my community are safe. By my community I mean everyone I know. We talk to each other and to our children about safe touch, unsafe touch, we talk about guns and violence and we talk about getting involved to make a change. So looking at the city & region in the Boston globe, sex charges, activist gone awry and the Mayor is trying to save the very company that caused the city so much pain and is about to cause us more pain. Where do I start. I will admit I never just drop my children off for a lesson of any sort. I stay and watch. And never do I allow any of my children one on one with anyone unless I an in the room. When my oldest started school they need to do hearing and eye exams when the nurse came to get him I started to go with them she asked me to wait outside because my other children would make it hard to do the exam. When I said No she gave me that look. I told her I would wait directly outside the open door. Sorry lady you are a stranger and the rule we have is that NO ONE CHILD IS TO BE IN A CLOSED ROOM WITH ANYONE PERIOD THE END. Well I do have to let him go to school and I must trust that I have taught him well. We talk at the end of everyday and I have to rely on the fact that he trusts me and will feel confident that I will be on his side no matter what he tells me. Go here to check out some tips on talking to your children. http://www.missingkids.com. Its not just about missing children the site gives tips on talking to your children about keeping them safe. Believe it or not its the people we know that tend to hurt our children. Lets move to the Guardian Angels They want to come help the City of Boston. I don't know I remember when they started in the early 80's people didn't really take to them then and I am not sure I would except them now. See why would I trust my safety to a stranger that is not a trained professional. Yes if I was drowning and someone jumped in to save me yes I would have to trust them. And if there is a neighborhood watch group we all know each other working together to keep our immediate surroundings safe. If a bunch of Guardian Angels, military, national guard, showed up in my neighborhood a started patrolling I would be uncomfortable. Maybe its that the devil you are use to is better then the devil you don't know. There was this one time I was in Brockton, not knocking Brockton, but it was late and I ran into one of those large chain stores to get somethings I needed for the next day and when I went to leave the security guard came over and suggested he walk me to my car. I looked at him and said Why would I let some strange guy with a gun bring me to my car I don't know you and maybe you are who I should be afraid of. Thanks but I'll take my chances. I walked to my car and thought gee I didn't know going to the store could be so dangerous. When I told the guys at work the next day they all looked horrified. They said Brockton could be a rough city. But was I wrong ? I'll never know. I was fine went to my car got in drove home no big deal. We should be able to walk to our car, play on our porch, throw a ball for the dog. How can we change this without becoming a military state. Moving to the mayor of New Bedford could we, should we save the leather goods factory? I understand that there are 600 jobs at stake here. People and there families but what are we saying to the people who broke the law. How can the city take over the company? The city has a hard enough time running it self. This is a very sensitive matter. Emotions are high. I'm not sure what the right answer is but I hope we look at more than one solution.

Here it is the last week of March and we, I mean all the people working together, have completed 16 afghans and I have delivered them to the homeless shelter. I will tell you it feels great. I spoke to a women who dropped off two complete afghans and about twenty squares(it takes 48 to make and afghan) I am so amazed at the support of the people. Our community working to help others in our community. I am very proud of all of these people. Together a as a group we are changing the lives of many. Or maybe they are changing us. See I can't help but think that maybe it is the act of doing and the act of needing to do that is making the change. The little old lady who has nothing to do all day long now has a purpose. The women who is new to the area and would like to met others with the same interest has new friends. The farmers wife who wanted to teach her children a lesson in community learned a bigger lesson from the people who came to help her teach her children. We are a community that is growing. All are welcome just jump in and make a difference.

It just seems every time I pick up the newspaper or turn on the television all I hear about is death and destruction. I begin to wonder if we would stop publicizing it so much that maybe people would not do it so much. I know it sounds idealistic but what if. We are a star crazed society we are always looking to be important in some way. Have our picture in the paper. Be recognized by others. Maybe we should do the short pieces on the rotten people and do the large pieces on the great people. Today's paper had a very very small piece about a man that saw a child fall off a dock into the freezing water while tossing rocks. It was about one paragraph. It left me wondering I will admit. I wondered why a man eating his lunch in a parked car jumped out, ran to the dock, jumped in, grabbed the child and handed her to her mothers boyfriend. First why didn't the mother or the boyfriend jump in. Why was the story so short. Next to it was a very long and detailed story about the grieving process of children in a high school where two children recently died. www.boston.com/city_region . How about a wonderful story about how they lived what great things they did who they where lets tell a great story and celebrate there lives not there deaths. Yes it is a tragedy and there lives where too short. But I bet if you looked in to the short lives that they lived they did something great. Lets hear it. I want to know about the boy and how he loved to play guitar. Who taught him. What was his favorite genre. Maybe just maybe if we talked a lot about him as a real person the person that ran him over would come forward. The story could follow about making a terrible mistake late one night and how that person made the right choose the second time around by telling the truth and turning them selves in. Show the world you can do something terrible wrong and stand up and take the punishment even if it took a few days or weeks to make the right choice. We have all made bad choices at one time or another and I for one wish I could make them right or at least stop carrying them around. They get heavy after a while. This would be a good time for everyone to choose one wrong and try to make it right. Find the person or persons and face them tell them ask them to hear you. This is not about forgiveness this is about standing up and facing what you did. I have three regrets in my life and I will carry them forever because the people have passed and I can not tell them. Don't let a mistake shape your life take a chance.

There is this sign I drive by and every time it just makes me want to scream. Its a billboard about 7' x 9' and it has a picture of a teenage boy that was killed. It states that he was murdered and that no one is doing anything to find his killer. I just can't imagine it. Wait, I just don't want to imagine it. Have we gone that far that we have forgotten the value of life?

When I am talking with my children about, I don't know, stuff there is this one conversation we have that at the end I say, "I can't buy a new you at the store". I can buy all sorts of stuff that's shiny and new. That wont talk back. That wont make me crazy. That wont make me scream with frustration. But, what I can't buy at the store is you. So every day and every night I remind my children that for all that goes on and for every time I yell or tell them to stop doing something, I would not replace a single second of it because I love you. I want you in my life. I brought you into this world because I can not live without you. So every time I drive by that sign I think of a mother, a father, a sister, a brother who wakes up everyday EVERYDAY and can not be frustrated by, nagged for a ride by, borrow the car keys by, hey wheres my breakfast by that boy in the sign. It reminds me we need to do something today. Right now. Wake up Mayor Lang...we need our City street to be safe for children again. Call city hall and find out who the boy is and what the city is doing about his murder. The sign right outside of buttonwood park before Union street. Check it out and make a call 508-979-1410. Remember that we are somebody and a lot of somebodies together can make a big difference.

Just the other day I delivered 10 afghans to the Keith Middle School in New Bedford. The Supervisor of Nurses has a wonderful thing going and has a great need for the afghans. At the Keith Middle School they have a wonderful project where they put together a afghan, a stuffed animal and a book and give it to a child. These are children in need. It gives them something that is theirs that they can take no matter where there life wonders. I can see how this would make them feel better. I am hoping to keep the ball rolling. If you knit or crochet please send them an afghan if you can but they will be happy to take mittens, booties, hats of all shapes and sizes.

Also the New Bedford Downtown Senior Center is sponsoring a knitting and crocheting session to make hats, gloves and scarves for the children of New Bedford to be given out during the tree lighting ceremony next winter for information on the Senior Center call 508-991-6255.

It always feels good to be able to help someone else and it only takes a few minutes of our time.

I have been working on a story for a while now about a slaughter house that has closed and the effect it has had on our local farmers. Its not a USDA slaughter house but a local one that has serviced our farms for many years. It started me wondering how a single person can effect the lives of so many. A rock that is tossed in a pond changes the pond forever or that a single rock that is taken from a stonewall could cause the entire wall to become unstable. So much so that a committee has been formed to figure out what they should do. How to spread out to multiple places so that they are not left here again. Yet still have the quality and service they want for their customers. How to find the happy medium.

I don't think when I stopped working my office job that any great lose was felt. I remember telling others who had quit before me not to worry we can all be replaced. But with what degree of difficulty I don't know. We would all like to think that we are irreplaceable. That should we quit our job and walk out that they would struggle to find someone as good as we were. Its almost spiteful.

I would like to think that I would be remembered fondly, with a smile and a pleasant reflecting thought.

For the farmers I asked didn't you see this coming? Some thought it wouldnt be so soon. Others were involved running there daily operation they didn't think about it until it was too late. We should not become so comfortable with what we are doing that we are letting others drive our business. Plan ahead. Look to the future. Make sure that what we have worked so hard for is there for our children, our grandchildren and maybe farther than that. I don't always plan ahead but when I do it seems that I enjoy the ride better.

I have wanted to get off the grind since well I got on the grid. I feel like I am a slave to the utility companies. That I contribute to much to the green house effects. That it just costs way too much money to live in today's society. That if I could live simply in some respects then maybe I could enjoy life so much more. So I have embarked on finding out more about energy use. It is a lot more complex then one would think. Didn't people use windmills to pump water and run mills. How could it be so hard now. Oh wait that's right we regulate everything and then some. But recently I have come across a group of people trying to educate others on environmentally friendly energy. They are putting on a series of talks and all are welcome. Here are the contacts and websites. www.lloydcenter.cor, www.cfsema.org/progams_services/seeal.htm, www.wrwa.com or contact jmarshall@seeal.org . They have been very informative.

Farmers seem to be a unique bunch of people. The old school, the new school and the weekend farmers all have there own way of doing things. I am not a farmer by trade but am surrounded by farms. I have always thought of farmers as the earths keepers. Why would they damage the very land that gives them the food we eat and the ability to make money. But there is this one farmer and I use the term loosely because I will tell you there are many that refer to him as a weekend farmer which if you are a "real farmer" this is a big insult. So a few years ago he decided to buy some cows and raise them. He has a fine piece of land and maybe 50 cows. But decided to feed the cows food scraps. I guess what people would consider slop. Which is his choice. Its cheaper then hay/grain/alfalfa. It also means he is not keeping his fields. The grazing grass is gone and has been reduced to mud. Mud and manure. Which when it rain flows freely down the hill into the street and I have watched his neighbors films this as it runs across the street filling there yard. And I guess I should mention we all have well water. So I,m sure they buy bottled water at this point. But with food scraps comes vermin!!!! First of which are hundreds of seagulls. These birds fly around his mud field squawking and defecating on everything. Houses, cars, children's slides, swimming pools so with the complaints this "farmer" buys an air cannon. You ask , "Whats an air cannon?" Well seeing how he can't shoot them he fires a cannon every 5 to 10 minutes that goes BOOM BOOM BOOM. Making everything within 5 miles tremor. My dogs are so horrified that they that taken to chewing anything and everything. One actually tried to eat my washer. He fires the cannon all day every day in hopes that the birds will go away and never come back. After six or eight months you would have thought he would realize that the birds have not gone away and that the air cannon is not working. I called the town hall thinking maybe I could put an end to this but there is no law that would require him to stop. I even tried animal cruelty but it didn't work. So we complained to the state department of agriculture and for about 72 hours he stopped. My husband asked if we had heard the cannon and that's when it hit me I had not but that must have been why earlier in the day the children and I got such an entertaining show. The farmer was in a dump truck driving all over the field chasing the seagulls, blowing the horn and stopping short so the tailgate slammed. We watched and laughed and thought this guy has really lost it what on earth is he doing. Now of course I realize he was asked not to use the cannon and so I am sure there is no law that says you can't drive around your field blowing the horn. This only lasted a few days then he went back to the cannon. And in some way I can actually handle the cannon now its been going on for so long that like the seagulls my dogs and I don't hear it so much. But now the other vermin yes as your mind wonders and stops because you say NO NO NO yes the RATS. Its like the town before the piper came. They are running in the street and across the street and down the street and they have come to my house. They are in my barn and my trash and I can not handle that. I am afraid to bring the trash out. I am afraid of my garage. I am afraid of my barn. Some how the air cannon doesn't seem so bad. The seagull droppings don't seem so bad. They say if two rats uncontrolled were left to reproduce in one years time there could be as many as 6000. If your mind is screaming like mine when you read this the nightmares may follow. Then I say what about the people who like directly next to him what must they be going through? How horrible is it at there house. Why are we not doing something? There were four dead rats at the end of his driveway the other day as I drove by. I am sure rats serve a purpose. I think ever creature serves a purpose. The problem here is that our farms and farmlands are disappearing we are more and more dependent on foreign countries to supply our food yet we fear food contamination. We have had spinach scares and tomatoes scares, cantaloupe, bananas and peanut butter contamination. We promote the local farmer. We want the locally grown food. It is the quality we are looking for. When you shop local you are helping those who are keeping our earth. There are wonderful organic farmers on the south shore. Hydroponic vegetables, local wineries, cranberry bogs, cattle, pigs, chicken, eggs you name it the farmers are raising it. Look for these farms the well established quality farms will give you a tour if you ask. If you don't know of one go to http://www.umassd.edu/semap/welcome.cfm for a directory. If we don't buy cheap meat and products from cheap farmers who don't care for our land and animals they will disappear. Quality does cost more. But a ride to the hospital is really expensive.

We don't go to the city much but on occasion I must venture there. It seems when ever I do I get lost which makes me late and I can never find a parking space. So I was driving around hoping to find anything finally a space opened up and I pulled in. I jumped out of my car and started shuffling the children out and then realized maybe I had chosen a bad parking space. There was a bunch of unsightly people huddled around the heat coming from the bus station. I gathered my children close and said we are in the city stay close don't touch anything, don't talk to anyone. You know the kind of things a nervous mother says when she thinks someone bad is lurking about.

I hurried them along past the bus station to where I thought was a safer area. My son kept looking back at the homeless people. We had never seen such a thing. Then he asked me, "Why all those people were standing there?" So in my best motherly way I began to explain homelessness. I realized homelessness can not be sugar coated and at this point it was hard to explain why someone would be homeless. As I struggled to explain he looked at me and said "Mom, they all look so cold, why don't they go inside the bus station its warm in there?"
And that was even harder to explain. That we are afraid of homeless people. And when we are afraid we want it to go away. We are sure they have done something bad to become homeless.

Somewhere in my life I must have got lost and my son was bringing me back.

So I began to tell him and my other children that there are people who just don't have money. They may have lost their job or maybe there partner died or who knows but I'm sure each one has a story to tell.

Just imagine, I said, If you father had to go away and I was left with all of you. and I had to go to work everyday. I would have to pay someone to care for you and that would cost money probably as much money as I would get paid to go to work so then what should I do to pay the bills how would I buy food, clothes, coats to keep you warm. They all looked at me. I realized then that all the things we have talked about in our lives this was an important lesson. A lesson I hope to teach well.

It really got me thinking. What do we do to make a difference. Yes we recycle. We hang our laundry outside to dry in the summers. We raise up our own food and veggies. We try to be earth friendly. But what...what?

I called around to see if we could volunteer but what I found didn't really allow me to bring small children with me and I couldn't make a weekly commitment to the same time and place my schedule was to crazy. I didn't think volunteering would be so hard. I wanted to do something. I wanted to do good. I wanted to make a difference.

A few weeks had past and my daughter was complaining I never do anything special with her. So I thought we could try a craft of sort. I went on the Internet and started looking for something craft like when I came across http://www.warmupamerica.org/ there it was a simple craft that we could do. Better yet a chance to make a difference. Then I thought, hey I could show the children in Sunday school, I could get friends, I could get others many others. And so it was I called the newspaper they came and did a little story. I wrote to manufacturers for yarn. For the past three months we have been knitting and crocheting and so have many others. Thus far we have made 10 afghans, 3 pairs of mittens and 1 pair of booties. It feels good.

I think so far its been the people that want to help that are making this so amazing. They are for the most part older women who have felt left out of our community. They sit at home not able to drive for one reason or another, they depend on others for there daily needs yet they want to do good for others they want to be needed. And I need them. They sit in there homes knitting for hours a day knowing that with each stitch they are helping someone. A mother, a child, a man or women who has done nothing bad. They just needs a warm blanket to wrap up in. I talk to them on the phone some of them for hours. They are lonely and some how by helping me to make afghans I have given them purpose again. And they have given me so much more......

One day we walked by a bus station and it change our lives forever.

This is all about making a difference. Can you? Would you? I go to town meetings and it seems all we do is point fingers. People are starving and we blame someone. Violence takes over a neighborhood and we blame someone. But I started to think aren't I someone. Maybe just maybe I could make a difference. People scoff at me. Tell me I'm idealistic. But maybe if there were a lot of us with this same attitude we could make a change.

I am someone...