Bristol County Daily News

It seems to me that suicide was a private personal end with reasons no one else could understand but today it seems we make a list of all that have wronged us and try to take them with us. In my life so far I have lost two friends to suicide and with each one I can remember thinking why didn't I notice. My friend 10 came into my office asked me for petty cash for gas and went home and hung himself. We had been calling his house thinking he over slept when his sister found him. It was hard to believe. It left us all wondering why. And for me It left me feeling like there where things I wanted to tell him but never did and maybe I should have. Then I was angry with myself for not saying what I felt. I am a fool to think that I would have made a difference. But today looking back I stop and think of him often and say maybe if we all had said something then maybe he would have heard us. So in his death he has left something for me and that is that I will tell the ones I love that they matter. When I am angry and I want to kill my children I hug them and tell them that I love them and take an adult time out. Sometimes I hug them sooooo tight that they squeak. When I have a fight with my husband and he has to go to work and he is leaving I say I am still angry with you but I want you to know that I love you. I am afraid that our last words would be angry if something happened and he did not come back. So I guess what I am saying to everyone is think of it as the last moment you might see that person and make sure you have said all you need to say. Don't leave things hanging. And if you see someone and they look like they need a friend be there you don't need to say anything just sit with them and look at nothing if that's what they are doing. Walk with them until they are done walking. Being a listener is the best thing we can be sometimes. Life is a journey and for some it is long and for others it is short. If you see someone in need just be there. Maybe we can make lists of the ones we love so much it hurts and make sure we let them know. Change how things are happening make them better make someones life better give them a hug or a smile give them some love.